What Makes It Work

I am sitting on the Washington State Ferry after picking up my Mac which crashed in Seattle. Good news: I didn’t lose any data; bad news; a four hour round trip, twice. There is no Mac service place on the Olympic Peninsula. I have a warrantee, and certainly wasn’t going to pay a tech to fix it, since I had no idea how costly that might be. On the drive today I found myself thinking about why the relationship with Wonono has gotten so much easier over these past six years. Once we adjusted to how different our upbringing has been, and how that upbringing shaped some of our attitudes, life became easier. But what seems most significant to me is that for each of us, how we treat other people, how we deal with one another, how we handle problems as they arise – has been similar from the beginning. I have been told I am ‘too honest’; I would suspect he has been told the same thing over the years. I would prefer blunt to beating around the bush, or worse, fabrication. So would he. For both of us, connection to others, connection to what is live in everything, is of paramount importance. He can be abrupt; I often explain what I think and feel over and over, from every angle, so that he will understand. As the years have passed, I do less of this, because I trust that he knows where I am coming from, and often, now, what I am going to say. When he first moved here and read my memoir, he reached the part where I described the kind of man I had come to believe I needed, and the personal traits that were important to me. I will never forget hearing him exclaim, “Hey. That’s me!” He was right. I believe we recognized this similarity of world view in each other. It has held us in good stead, and made our relationship grow stronger over time. We know who we are; and we know who the ‘other’ is. IN a lighter vein, we have a very similar sense of humor. Perhaps Jewish and Indian humor, and the wry way we view ‘funny’ is similar. It is certainly similar for us. We both are very affectionate, and need touch on a daily basis. We both enjoy sex, and sex with each other, even at our advanced age! We both love to eat, and to eat well. And more and more we trust that we will weather difficulties with each other because we both really value what we have with each other. We both feel seen. Our interactions are relatively easy. Sure we get annoyed with one another; but the annoyance passes quickly. Even when we can’t reach agreement about something, that’s alright. We each are comfortable allowing differences. Bottom line, we truly appreciate one another. And that makes all the difference.