Being In Charge

This notion is of course a complete myth. It has taken me years to fully acknowledge this fact: I am not in charge of anyone but myself. To say nothing about being largely powerless about what is going on in the world around me. Sometimes it is still annoying: when my partner, or one of my daughters, or a close friend is doing some action that I don’t support, or that I think is a truly bad idea; but I still have no control. And shouldn’t. I keep repeating what I’ve learned. I am not in charge of, or responsible for, anyone else’s decisions. Even if I am worried about such a decision, or frightened, or even angry about it. My life is my life and my choices are, in the end, my business and only my business, even if I ask advise. The same is true for all the people I love in my life. The only thing that still gets me in real trouble vis a vis this issue, is my two little grandsons. If one or both of their parents are doing something that I think is really foolish, what do I do? Do I say something? I have decided I say something, with strong words if I think it’s necessary, and then I have to let go and let them pursue their own path. As a parent I certainly did, and both of my daughters are alive and well. Both have inherited some of my neuroses, but here I sit, typing away at age sixty-eight, so none of my poor decisions killed them or me. As my mom said, “We learn from our mistakes.” Isn’t that annoying? And true? So. I’m not in charge, and neither are you, except in charge of me and you of you. In the end, it’s a relief, or felt like one to me. Less to worry about. Less stuff to consume my mind and my time on a daily basis. I hope I feel less intrusive to those who spend time with me. This is what I remind myself when something comes up about someone.