Healing: When We Feel Helpless

I always blog in the morning on Mondays, but today I forgot.  My grandson has been wheezing in an odd sort of way, has been given steroids twice, but is still wheezing. Question this AM: is it a tumor or other obstruction?  My poor daughter was at the specialist’s office for hours; Zeke shrieked when the guy put the scope down his gullet, couldn’t get past his voice box, but saw no tumors.  I believe he said that’s where they would be.  Then she was sent to get an Xray.  Still no response.  She has no idea what is wrong, and the doctor doesn’t seem to either.  He says the 6 month old probably swallowed a nut, and is irritated.  It will work it’s way through.  My daughter is pretty freaked out; who wouldn’t be?  Odd that I was going to write about healing.  I do remember when my kids got really sick, and how frightening it was.  Was my anxiety neurotic, or do most mom’s get wigged out by high fevers, weird breathing, and not being told a damned thing by the doctors?  Have I passed on this neuroses to my kid?  I can’t imagine any mom waiting all day, and being calm or serene.  My partner just suggested she take both kids back to the specialist’s office to demand action.  If her kids cry, all the better. They’ll want to get her out of there.  He said that’s what poor people have to do; they usually can’t afford to go home and come back the next day.  They can’t lose another day’s work.  This isn’t what I intended to write about, and will postpone my healing blog on emotional healing until next week.  It’s been a hell of a day, and I just don’t have it in me.  If we’re neurotic, so be it.  That’s the way we are.