Loss

Last night I feel asleep thinking about loss.  Along the way I have lost two of my oldest and dearest friends, though one seems to be reaching out again, which has been both a relief and joyous.  The other moved to my little town, though I warned her this progressive, quiet, arty place might not be her cup of tea, and that I had serious time constraints, rarely seeing any of my new friends here more than once or twice a month. When I was not willing to spend more time with her, she moved away, hurt and angry.  Boundary setting did not seem to be an option.  Two husbands have fallen by the wayside during my journey through life; one is totally gone; the other seems to be more available lately, and more interested in contact, perhaps because we share two delightful little grandsons.  I don’t care about the reason; I’m glad for the contact. The anger is long gone, but appreciation for the intelligence and curious nature of that man I married so long ago, remains.  It feels wonderful to acknowledge that there is lots we have shared.  So, yes, there is loss, but that is not all.  What remains?  My partner, who is tender and loving and supports me every single day, my daughters who love me and like me most of the time, new friends, one old re-newed friend from high school, who is a delight and shares a similar east coast, Jewish sense of humor, my work, which never seems to fade away or seem insignificant to me–wow, what wealth!  So although there are losses, and serious ones, writing this blog has also highlighted the richness of my life for me, and my engagement with what comes down the pike.  Not bad, for almost seventy….